sassysage's Blog

#Netflix aired the movie #NappilyEverAfter this weekend.  the movie stars sanaa lathan, whom i (and everybody else) love!!

it’s a story about a woman who seems perfect on the outside but isn’t happy with herself. the movie goes a layer deeper and explores the conflict that many women of all races, but particularly black women have with our hair. doesn’t sound deep you may say.  isn’t hair just grown out protein jutting out of one’s scalp?

no my dear, hair is so much more than that.  it is a crown of sorts and how we feel about it can make or break us.  that’s why i found the big chop scene in the movie the most powerful.  it reminded me of my journey when in my early 20s, i cut all my hair.  it was not a decision i made lightly but when i did i LET IT GO.

scan2_2_2like sanaa’s character, it wasn’t until i was left with my bald and bare self that i realized what i had done.  uh oh…now i had to find a new way of being in the world. not hiding behind my hair. not fretting over what it did or did not look like. not spending hours or dollars primping and pulling.  i was left with me and therefore needing to look at me, flaws and all.

that’s when the real journey began and it’s been glorious. i’ve since my grown my hair back, relaxed it, transitioned back to natural and many iterations in between.  but that first journey will never be forgotten because it was the beginning of a new me.

that’s why i urge all women contemplating cutting their hair to go for it.  it liberates in ways that will have a profound impact in how you see the world and how the world sees not only you but all of us.  if you’ve done the big chop; give some thought about what it did for you and share your experience with others.

Let’s start a #BigChop movement. it’s so much bigger than hair…

 

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right now I’m typing in my living room taking in the delicious vibes of an ‘herb garden’ downloadcandle which smells like a cross between lavender and orange spice.  this is not just any candle; it’s made with lots of thought and love by Rose Powell founder of Rose and Co. Candlemakers.  Rose is just 11 years old but has a passion for creating aromas that speak to the heart like an old soul.   her candles not only smell good but they are good for the environment (made with natural soy and an eco wick) and society too (proceeds supports girls education through Michelle Obama’s let girls learn initiative).  for going for your dreams at such an early age, we salute Rose Powell as the queen entrepreneur she is.

 

Tomorrow (Sept 2nd) the new movie, Dinner for Two, airs on #TVOne at 7pm EST.  A beautiful love story about college sweethearts.  The story was written by my college friend, Orlando Bishop, who captured the essence of love in this tale.  Who doesn’t love a romantic story of young people falling hard for one another?  Often these stories are total fantasy.  This is not where Dinner for Two goes… It offers the real hurt, pain, twists and turns that often come with long-term love.   The story is soft, sweet and provides a tender pace that captures the amazing bond that actors, Tristan Wilds and Chaley Rose display.  Be sure to tune in.

i remember my first few months on yale’s campus as a freshman.  i was called racial insults and it rocked my world. i had heard about racism but never experienced it myself; until then.  

i also experienced a loving community of people from all races and cultures, learning and growing together.  it was both dark and light.  that was the reality of my college life and the life of so many others around the country.  

as many of you pack your bags to get to campus, know that the journey at school can be challenging but the gifts you will get are many.   it could help you grow into the person you are meant to be and lead you to your passion and your life’s work.  just like it did for ashtan towles, class of 2019. check out this netflix video to hear her story.

 

as the US reflects on July 4th independence day; i’m reflecting as well.  so much has happened in the country and so much has occurred with me.  i have mixed feeling about it all….  

dark dark moments of anger, fear and despair. but also lots of learning, truth and growth.  i realize that freedom works like that.  it is an earned struggle and the path can feel like a war to discover who you really are.  but you/me/we must get through the fight and march on. 

that’s why this independence day, i’m saluting the discovery of more of myself.  i’ll be watching the fireworks of my life unfolding brightly.  

what ways have you stayed true to who you are?

what have you done to stand more firmly for your desires?

what does it mean to fly your independence flag proudly?

join me today in celebrating our freedom.

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I’ve written many times before about my mentor and friend, Dr. Olivia Hooker.

She is 103 and is the only living survivor of the Tulsa Riots of 1921 (Black Wall Street). She was also the first Black woman to be selected to the US Coast Guard and she was a prominent Psychologist and Professor at my alma mater, Fordham University.   

Dr. Hooker was recently interviewed for NPR. Hear the story of how things happened during the riots when she was just 6 years old.  Incredible story for an incredible woman.

Listen to the 6 minute interview here

 

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Dr. hooker at 6 years old. photo credit NPR

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another school shooting happened today and i’m just too upset to write a full blog.  it seems the policy makers don’t care one bit about youth.  how many more precious children need to die?  it’s a disgrace.   i’ve said it before, we have to care about our youth and partner with them to find solutions to these tragedies.   For more of my thoughts on this click on my blog post below from January 2013.

Previous Blog Post: If the concern is youth violence, why not ask them

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