sassysage's Blog

Sage’s rage: Hate on me, hater…

Posted on: April 14, 2009

i HATE u….

But they say that’s a strong word
Cause it took all the might I had to lift my head
Prop myself up with pride and walk away
U lied
Looked me straight in the eye with dishonesty
And fed me a fantasy
No wonder I make u tick when I called u out
U make me sick
Slick rick
…..They say HATE is a strong word

I admit I wrote that poem 8 years ago because some silly guy broke my heart. But what’s got me puzzled now is not men, but my sistahs. I was talking to a friend today and she told me how her 4 year old daughter is getting hated on in Headstart! The teachers put her in time out and make her take naps in a corner away from all the other kids not because she’s behaving badly but she’s confident, pretty and outgoing. I mean, what is the deal ladies? How could a cute little kid bring the wicked witch out of them?
I wish they were the only ones with a problem…Let’s face it; it happens more often than not. When we see a fellow female who is about her business, how many of us are proud? how many of us let her know we like that idea she presented in class? how many are glad she got the guy, good grades and cute shoes too! There is always the little monster in us that’s ready to attack and poke holes in her happiness. That inner critic that comes out to sever our sisterhood.
I think it’s cause we have such a hard time loving ourselves. How could we possibly love another who looks so much like us? How can we give props where they are due when we can’t praise ourselves without making an excuse for being smart, caring, talented and the many wonderful things so many of us are.
So girlies, I’ve got an exercise for ya.
Starting today, stop hating on your sisterfriends AND yourself. Every morning get up and sing your praises. Tell yourself at least one thing about yourself that you are proud of. Then make sure you find at least one female that you don’t know and say something you like about them.
Sisterhood…now that’s what I call a strong word!

2 Responses to "Sage’s rage: Hate on me, hater…"

It’s so unfortunate that adults must resort to this, punishing their headstart student for being confident.

I think this stems a great deal from personal regret. Sometimes as adults we look at others and see what they have accomplish and begin to regret why we didn’t try harder to achieve just that or more.
Then without even realizing it, this “hateration” arises towards that other individual stopping us from sharing in that individual’s joy.

It sounds to me that this may be the case with the headstart teacher. This confident 4 year old may remind this teacher of what she wishes she was, at 4 years old. But, instead of encouraging the little girl, she decides to ostracize her.

So it is so important that we, as sisters, accomplish all that we want to accomplish. So that when we see the next sister or 4 year old child, we can rejoice in their accomplishments and not attempt to tare them down.

So if we have a weight issue, we should get to the gym… eat right. So that we won’t have to hate on the confident fabulous sister who may pass us.

If we want a better career, then we need to take the step needed to accomplish that goal not hate on the sister who is doing her thing and enjoying her job.

The list can go on. But, I think it is so important to self evaluate. Take the steps to change what we need to change in order to be satisfied. Thereafter, I think it will be so easy to encourage one another. Because we will be where we want to be and not envy anyone else.

I agree with you Sage. I simply think that people don’t have an understanding of who they are as individuals. This is mainly the reason people hate on others. You see if you knew who you were and that there was not, is not and never will be someone like you on the face of this earth you wouldn’t have to hate on anyone for their looks, talents and good fortune. I don’t hate on any sistas because I know that what you have I might now have but the same is true on the flip side…you don’t have what I have. So its easy to let my sista shine in her beauty, intelligence and success.

But due to the fact that so many individuals, especially females suffer with low self-esteem it is difficult for them to see another person doing their thing because they think its a reflection of them when it ABSOLUTELY is not. We all have something our focus should be on cultivating it and not downplaying someone elses.

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