sassysage's Blog

Last week BET Rap It Up Campaign sponsored, Real Talk with Real Men, a panel discussion moderated by Dr. Jeri Dyson.  The event was held at Morgan State University and was filled with an auditorium of women only. They were there to hear from the guys themselves and get a better handle on the not so easy to decipher male mind.

You can imagine the screams and excitement as the panel which included Raheem DeVaughn, Joe Clair, Sammie, khalil, and Big Tigger among others entered the room.

The guys spoke on the hot topics of love, sex and relationships in a keep it real fashion that caused plenty of wow moments throughout the night.

Dr. Dyson who is known for her frank and sistergirlfriend style kept the panel of energetic men on track.  Comedian Joe Clair had us in stitches with his stories of life getting dissed as the good guy until he met the love of his life whom he married several years ago. The bottom line from him was that sisters are sleeping on the guys that you would want to marry.  I remember the hush in the room as Bishop Derek Triplett of Hope Fellowship Church then urged the ladies to choose men by looking at “What’s in his heart, what’s in his head, what’s in his hand [that is what he can do, not his $ ladies].” 

We learned that Sammie is more than great looks and a sexy voice. He loves to read, he’s into opera, and he travels; so much more than the image that we see. He wants a woman that can match who he is which means we ladies need to make it a priority to work on ourselves.  I say amen because I’ve learned as a ‘woman of a certain age’ that a good relationship requires growth from both partners.

They say never judge a book by its cover. But the guys told us that many men do.  Men know within 30sec-1min, said Raheem Devaugh schooling us on the three categories men may put you in when you first meet.  The category of wifey is had by the woman who knows who she is, has boundaries and the key ingredient is making the man hold to your expectations of how you want him to treat you.  And how do we know if a guy is who he says he is? Just wait around and see, Big Tigger chimes in. Cause men will show who they are, just give it time and pay attention to their actions.

It was a powerful moment for all the ladies in the house. Not only did we get a glimpse of the ‘real’ soul and minds of these heart throb celebrities but we also learned so much. Kahil said it best when he challenged us to use self discipline in the moment; think about what was said and use it to make better decisions. Now that’s real talk…