sassysage's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘pain

most of my posts have been about optimism, positivity and enjoying life. but today i’m angry and i’m not going to fake it.   

as a woman of color i’m often attacked by all the negative media images, false stereotypes, bias and unequal treatment.  i usually focus on rising above it. i know it’s important not to let the hate of others get in my way.   but this week was different…

you may have heard the news about a black female yale student who had the police called on her while she was taking a study break nap from finals in the common area of her dorm.   when i heard, it stung so deep.  it’s taken me a few days to find the words.  i’m a prof and on a campus all the time.  i know how important it is for college to be a safe place, so you can learn and transition into the adult you are meant to be.   as a yale grad, i remember the common areas. they are like living rooms and supposed to me you feel like home.  to think that was snatched away from this student, who could have been me, is surreal.   

some people are saying what’s the big deal.  the police came, she showed her id and all is good. but it’s not…she may never feel safe again. she may never be able to breathe into her true brilliance because someone else’s ignorance tried to steal her right to be there.  i’m hoping the young woman is able to rise above this and becomes stronger. but i know to do that she will have to face all the anger, hurt and pain. that situation and all the many others we have been seeing lately are a big deal. such as the black women who had the police called on them at their own golf course for playing too slowly or the black woman who was violently arrested by police at a waffle house for asking to speak to the manager and the list goes on.  those women will have to move through painful feelings and so am i.  

facing anger will allow me to deal with it. and when i deal; i heal.  healing…that’s what i hope for the student at yale, for all women whom others have attempted to take their humanity away from, for all of us. let’s face our anger and become better together.  



as a Christian, i’m celebrating our highest holiday weekend.   i remember as a young girl crying as i watched tv specials on Good Friday about Jesus wearing a thorn crown and being beaten before getting hung on a cross. it felt so wrong to my little girl self.  i couldn’t fathom the possibility that the Easter resurrection story is the story of everyone’s life.

fast forward many more years to my adult and want to be grown up self and i’m starting to see.   after going through a series of very tough challenges recently, i realized that the beaten to resurrection pattern is a part of life…

stuff hits the fan and then the fan blows up.   too much to handle or so it seems and we (i) crumble into a ball hoping it will go away.   but it doesn’t until i (we) get the courage to look the tragedy, problem, wreckage in the eye and stand in pain.  yes i said it…

go there and suffer. and not in silence. be brave enough to tell at least yourself what’s going on and how you really feel.   a few weeks ago, i took a full day to stare at the sky and do nothing but journal to myself.  it was ugly but so was Jesus’ thorny crown…

so many of us are dealing with the blows that life throws us. it is especially hard when we feel it isn’t our fault.   let the image of Jesus’ cross come to mind.  there wasn’t much fair about that. but so life goes, it seems…

Easter is a celebration for many Christians around the world.  but the celebration can mean something for all of us.   the Easter message that we can hold on a little longer. the Easter image that pain will subside somehow. the Easter promise of having faith things will turn around…the Easter morning when things are beautiful, brand new and there’s chocolate everywhere:)


Follow me on Twitter

Learn more about sassysage

%d bloggers like this: