sassysage's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Self-Esteem

#Netflix aired the movie #NappilyEverAfter this weekend.  the movie stars sanaa lathan, whom i (and everybody else) love!!

it’s a story about a woman who seems perfect on the outside but isn’t happy with herself. the movie goes a layer deeper and explores the conflict that many women of all races, but particularly black women have with our hair. doesn’t sound deep you may say.  isn’t hair just grown out protein jutting out of one’s scalp?

no my dear, hair is so much more than that.  it is a crown of sorts and how we feel about it can make or break us.  that’s why i found the big chop scene in the movie the most powerful.  it reminded me of my journey when in my early 20s, i cut all my hair.  it was not a decision i made lightly but when i did i LET IT GO.

scan2_2_2like sanaa’s character, it wasn’t until i was left with my bald and bare self that i realized what i had done.  uh oh…now i had to find a new way of being in the world. not hiding behind my hair. not fretting over what it did or did not look like. not spending hours or dollars primping and pulling.  i was left with me and therefore needing to look at me, flaws and all.

that’s when the real journey began and it’s been glorious. i’ve since my grown my hair back, relaxed it, transitioned back to natural and many iterations in between.  but that first journey will never be forgotten because it was the beginning of a new me.

that’s why i urge all women contemplating cutting their hair to go for it.  it liberates in ways that will have a profound impact in how you see the world and how the world sees not only you but all of us.  if you’ve done the big chop; give some thought about what it did for you and share your experience with others.

Let’s start a #BigChop movement. it’s so much bigger than hair…

 

Advertisements

it’s become somewhat of a ritual.  alvin ailey in december.  it’s a healing to end off my year.  

dance has always been a part of my life.  it feeds my soul; the movement, the music, the emotional expression.  i was more than moved watching this amazing showcase of talent and soul.  

watch as ailey dancer rachel mclaren shows how she has grown to love herself through dance.

it’s odd day!!

11-13-15

and i’m posting at 17:19:21

5:19pm and 21 seconds…hehe:)

being odd is all good.  

let’s face it, everyone has something about them that’s different from the next person.  so why not embrace the oddness.

since it’s the last time this entire century this will happen, go with a bang being the oddball out!!

what you gonna do to let your quirky self shine?

add day

 

Photo: Linda “Belgium” Gordon

  • In: Uncategorized
  • Comments Off on Sage’s Rage: Change…No Thanks I’m Set in My Ways

last week i was giddy at the idea of getting to meet famed teen book author Sharon Flake.  she is an amazing writer whose books including The Skin I’m In have changed the lives of many.

imgres

just the thought of getting 1 on 1 time with her had me spinnin’ and scared. what could i possibly have to say to someone so GREAT?   she picked me up for breakfast and i was immediately thrown aback.  she happened to bring up that while growing up,  the way she looked at things were so different she wasn’t made to feel like she could be a writer.  she talked about how she worked in ways that were not the same as others.  ways that were challenging but they were her ways and she honored that. there was no judgement, no regrets, no trying to change…total understanding and self love. i told you she was GREAT!

the very next day i was in a training and we had to take a personality test.   after the test, the trainer went over all the points about ‘my ways’.  i started to feel an ugly shame coming up when she pointed out how much i like to plan and make lists…why couldn’t i just go with the flow?  i cringed when she mentioned my tendency to ask lots of questions. why wouldn’t i just be chill & stop being in the mix?

then

i thought back to my convo with Sharon and now i see.  the best strategy is to know your self; your way of being so you understand how to make your journey through life.  NOT to feel forced to change every little part of who you are (unless you are hurting others). i’ve got my querks and i’m getting to know them well. no changing here…

  • In: Uncategorized
  • Comments Off on Hot off The Press: Stop Questioning JLo’s Booty

i went by the dumbo arts festival this past weekend to check out the south asian women’s creative collective performance ‘beauty’.

it had me questioning how we/i decide what is beautiful and who’s standard i/we use to determine what is hot and what is not.

as i walked through the exhibit performances i stubbled upon the #damnilookgood installation. Qinza Najm and Saks Afridi, two Pakistani-American artists, created the piece that encouraged passersby to try on Muslim veils and re-imagine the experience as empowering.

it was a hot day; so i sat in sweat with the veil on waiting for my photo to be taken. the veil was tight and uncomfortable. in that moment i wasn’t convinced.

it wasn’t until the next day after seeing jlo and izzy’s booty video that i realized veiled or half-naked; SELF-DEFINED beauty is the only way to achieve true power.

IMG-20140928-01436

i can’t judge women from other cultures that choose to be covered from head to toe. and i shouldn’t judge those who prefer to wear a lot less (though twitter has certainly chosen to judge the jlo video).

what we should judge is WHY are we making those choices.

without the pressure from family; without standards to adhere to by faith; without the constant media images (and scandalous videos); without ads selling best beauty (booty) ‘secrets’. without it all; if we really were free to just be our naturally beautiful selves…what choices would we make?

i have no answer.

for me just asking the question takes my beauty to whole ‘nother level…

and that feels empowering.

  • In: Uncategorized
  • Comments Off on Sage’s Rage: Class of 2014 difficulty awaits

It’s graduation season and lots of celebrations are happening.  

Rightfully so, because graduates have worked hard to accomplish their goals.  But it’s also clear that the day after graduation difficulty awaits.  The challenge becomes what to make of the education you have received.   You’ve got goals; go for it. But when you fall (trust me you will fail) keep getting back up…the key is try & try again…

One of my favorite teen experts, Josh Shipp, had some great words for this year’s grads.  Here’s what he has to say

 

  • In: Uncategorized
  • Comments Off on Sage’s Rage: How’s your Mental ‘Fitness’

DChitwood_HappyGirlsgirls often fret about our looks.

do we have the right outfit on, is our hair looking good, are our thighs too big…the list goes on. 

physical fitness is all the rage. but have you ever thought about being mentally in shape?

i’m not talking about the absence of mental illness.  but being emotionally fit, happy and at peace; socially balanced and all around feeling strong in your mind.

seems like a lot of the talk about mental health focuses on the negative emotional problems people can have. and that is important but its not all mental health is about.

so today on world mental health day i’m challenging my girls to get in shape!

-start working out your heart by doing something you love at least once a week

-do repeated reps of saying nice things about yourself each day

-run wild with laughter as much as you can stand

-take time to care for yourself

that’s my mental health diet and the great part is chocolate is allowed!

mental-health-day-blog


Follow me on Twitter

Learn more about sassysage

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: